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my mom and I got into an argument today about how she pushes me away and makes me not want to be close to her. her *traditional values* and conservative beliefs make me not want to tell her anything for fear of being judged. not only that, but she is so emotional and obsessed with her views that if I did tell her anything about my private life that she disapproved of, it would break her heart, and I know that. I would never want to hurt my mom purposely, so of course I just never tell her anything because she would be so upset/ashamed of me and I know she would think differently of me from then on. it just sucks seeing people have really close relationships with their moms, where they can go to them for advice about things, and tell them secrets and junk, when I don’t really trust my mom at all. she asks me about my ex boyfriend but I could never tell her why our relationship was so fucked up and how we would never get back together. our views are just so different about EVERYTHING, it just sucks not having support. I just feel like my mom should be my biggest supporter of my feminism, because she was such a hero to me growing up, but she doesn’t agree with it at all. And that just bums me out because feminism is what has brought me true happiness and I can’t share that with her. and now she’s all upset because she feels like she fucked up, which she did, but there’s no way to go back. I hate seeing her so upset about it, but maybe she’ll try a little harder to get to know me now, idk. she told me she never asked about my life because she didn’t want to be annoying or a nag, and she didn’t want to be my best friend, she wanted to be my mom. which, yeah, I don’t want her to be my best friend or anything either, it’d just be cool to be able to confide in mature adult about certain situations. I just don’t know what to do about it at this point, I really need to get out of this house.
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